Quicksand is not something I thought I’d have to worry about on a bike ride to Argentina

There is a 90% chance there was a large dead animal in this water

In fact, if I were to make a list of things I thought I’d never see in America, quicksand would be in the top ten. But there I was yesterday, thigh-deep in it and sinking. Story time.

I arrived in Kanab, UT on Sunday. As a welcome gift, the town streets tore through my rear tire. I don’t carry an extra tire because I’ve only gone through two in the life of my bike. Thankfully, there was a bike shop in town. Unthankfully, their first open hours for the week are on Wednesdays from 4:30-6:30 PM. Obviously the shop is someone’s hobby and not a real source of income.

So I had three days to kill until the shop opened. I decided to knock off another hike from Backpacker Magazine’s Top Ten Most Dangerous in America, Buckskin Gulch. At 23 miles long, Bucksin is unofficially the longest slot canyon in the world. The walls were close enough that I could touch both sides the whole time and over 200 feet tall in some spots. Hazards include rock fall, quicksand, hypothermia and the constant threat of a flash flood sweeping the whole canyon clean (hikers included).

I walked to the end of Kanab and stuck my thumb out, hoping to hitchhike the 48 miles to the trailhead. It took over an hour to get the first ride. And who had to help me? THE FRENCH. I got picked up by some French tourists who dropped me off on the dirt road, 10 miles from Buckskin. I walked another three before some German tourists took me to a primitive campground (no water). Called Stateline Campground, I was camped in Arizona, but ate my dinner at the pavilion in Utah.

I befriended another guy from Germany and we decided to do the start of the Gulch together. Thank God he was 6’6″. There are pools of filth at the start of Buckskin that have to wade through. I made him go through first so I could gauge how deep they were. I wore my cycling shorts so they dried pretty quickly.

Four hours in, he turned around to head back to his car which was his plan. I kept on going. Now the only person in all of Buckskin Gulch, I was on my own. The ground started getting really muddy, but I kept on around it. Suddenly, I realized the mud wasn’t giving my foot back. Not only that, it was claiming more of my leg. Quicksand!

If there’s one thing traveling has given me, it’s a sense of absolute calm in emergency situations. Here I am thigh-deep in quicksand and I could have recited the Preamble to the Constitution if you had asked me to. In fact, the main thing running through my mind was the quicksand line from Jumanji: “Well done, JUdy! Sarah and I would like to get out of the floor now.”

Luckily, the rock to my side was grooved. I tossed my pack to solid ground and clawed my way along. It’s weird to say that that is a real thing I experienced, but it was definitely unforgettable. After the quicksand, I sat down and had some bread, peanut butter, and blueberry yogurt.

The mud in Buckskin Gulch is great for your pores!

I made it 11 miles on day one to the confluence of Bucksin Gulch and Paria Canyon, my way out. I attacked the canyon, or it attacked me, this morning on day 2 of the hike. Little sunlight reaches that far down into the canyon and the river was flowing strongly so it was frigid. And there’s no way out but to wade through it. So I did. I waded through that damn river for hours. There’s dry land surrounding it at some points so I crossed the river a total of 116 times, hopping from muddy land to muddy land. I knew the risk I was putting my body in so I stopped every 20 minutes to thaw and dry my feet.

Regardless of how treacherous it was, Bucksin Gulch goes down as my favorite hike I’ve ever done. It’s so different from anything else. I’d definitely like to try the 50-mile hike to the Paria-Colorado River confluence someday.

I hitchhiked back to Kanab today. My rides included a Korean couple and a Norwegian man. No Americans have picked me up. Too busy with their patriotism, I guess. The bike shop opened a little bit ago and I went to buy a tire. No luck. They don’t have anything close to the size I need (which is a really popular size). So I guess I’m hitchhiking to the next closest shop in Flagstaff tomorrow? I don’t know. Things are falling apart!

Peace out. Pictures of Zion tossed in as well. You’ll know which is which. If the Buckskin pictures look less quality, it’s because my camera is currently having issues so those were all taken with my phone.

October 25, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | 7 Comments

No picture I take of Zion can do it justice

The view from Angel’s Landing

October 20, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | 2 Comments

You’re invited to my pity party! Bring snacks!

The Amphitheater at Bryce Canyon

It’s cold. Like really cold. As a native-born Pakistani, I can say that we are not a cold people. I even more so than most. People say that they love the oncoming of fall for crisp weather, bonfires, and Halloween. For me, it’s less of an oncoming and more of an onslaught.

Day 1 back on the bike

How do I explain how much I hate fall? It’s an attack on everything I love about the world. Temperatures drop, people retreat indoors, and it ushers in the only thing worse than fall: winter. Ugh.

Having spent the last three weeks in Hawaii, it’s been a shock trying to make peace with this weather. The average temperature of my life has gone from 75 degrees to 55. It may not sound like it’s that bad, but it’s different when you don’t have a heated home to retreat into when it becomes uncomfortable. Also, I’m a weenie when it comes to cold. That’s why I have no desire to ever summit a mountain, learn to ski, or have snowball fights. I once went dog sledding in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in January. It all went downhill after that.

Anyway, as you can see from the pictures, I had a glorious reunion with my bike after 42 days off the pedals. Elicia and Andy in Salt Lake City kept it safe for me and offered so much practical advice about touring south of the border. Thanks, guys!

The weather the day I left the city was brutal. 3 layers top and bottom and I was still freezing while riding. There was some light rain and driving wind that made everything worse. Luckily, the sun came out the next day and has been out every day since.

It’s more or less too cold to be a living being between whenever I wake up and 10 AM. By 11, I’m riding in cycling shorts and a jacket. By 1 the jacket is off and by 3 the shirt comes off too (I’ve climbed 4000 feet in the last 5 days so it’s been really strenuous). And then I put it all back on over the course of the ensuing hours. I really, honestly am not enjoying touring as much as I did in the summer. I look forward very much so to stable temperatures in Mexico. I just have to get there first.

Anyway, I made it to Bryce Canyon National Park in the mean time. It’s famous for it’s hoodoos. I’m at the visitor’s center and they’re about to turn off the wifi so forgive me for cutting this post short. I’ll give more details later. I love you!

October 17, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | 9 Comments

What you want and what you have

It’s a fitting tribute to my time in Hawai’i that the last day be so wonderful. On a vacation of superlatives–the biggest mountain, the rainiest spot, the tallest waterfall–I added another: the best day.

Find the crab!

I understand why people think I travel for the nature. I absolutely do. It makes me feel alive. But that’s not the central reason for why I travel. I travel for the people. I so deeply value the natural world around me, but it’s a placeholder between fantastic experiences with people. And did I have an experience yesterday.

I started with hitchhiking into Waimea Canyon, “the Grand Canyon of the Pacific.” I got a ride surprisingly quickly. Since I’ve been a little bored for the last few days, I started making up random life stories about myself to tell tourists. I told the folks from Arizona who picked me up that I escaped from an arranged marriage in my Afghani hometown and have been touring the US in search of a wife. I even put on an accent. They were really concerned, but drove me through the canyon anyway.

Coolest tree roots ever?

Unfortunately, the proximity of the rainiest spot on Earth made for a lot of low-hanging clouds. That was beautiful in it’s own way, but the canyon was hard to make out. I bid adieu to my ride and hung out at the Kalalau Overlook for a while. Ironically, it’s an overlook to the valley and beach I hiked to in the post a few days ago, but I had to come all the way to the other side of the island to access it.

So anyway, I walked down the winding road from the overlook and  no one would give me a ride, no matter how passionately I stuck my thumb out. Suddenly, two women walked out of the roadside forest to their car. We got to talking and they had just finished (given up?) on a hike and offered me a ride the bottom of the road. Awesome!

Kim, Katie and I shared some fantastic conversation and eventually we realized that their final stop was just a bit down the road from where I wanted to camp on the other side of the island. So we spent the huge chunk of the day together. They bought me some delicious local chips and we went down to Po’ipu Beach and saw sea turtles! The image of a behemoth of a sea turtle hiding inside a wave is one that will not fade from my memory quickly.

Kalalau Valley

We checked out a bunch of other spots and even made a trip to Costco, where I got the most delicious gigantic slices of pizza for $2. We parted ways at Nukolii Beach, my favorite spot on Kauai, but I won’t forget the two of them. It was such a wonderful experience spending time with them. Thanks, guys!

After that, I watched my final sunset in Hawaii. Nukolii Beach faces east and so I actually watched the sideshow, not the main attraction. I waded into the water glowing pink and stood and watched the ocean. I stood for so long that little fish started crowding around my legs. I was honestly just blissfully happy.

It’s a special thing to have total harmony between what you want and what you have.

Last sunrise in Hawaii. Back to Salt Lake City tonight.

October 10, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | 12 Comments

Some stories about people (and a dog)

My mom thinks that I spend all of my time living alone in the wilderness. I can see where you might get that idea since I mostly post pictures and stories about the places I go. But I meet tons of people too! Here’re some fun encounters I’ve had with folks in Hawai’i.

Unrelated cute dog video

1. Someone gave me a sandwich this morning while I was walking down the street. He was really angry about it too. But he really wanted me to take the sandwich. So I did and it was delicious.

2. Yesterday I took the bus and started chatting with this native Hawaiian girl about her job at the local TV station. We got to be friends and exchanged phone numbers. She invited me to an electronic DJ she was going to last night, but it’s 21+ and I’m still a lame 20-year-old so I couldn’t go 😦

3. I befriended a kayak guide this morning who offered me a Na Pali Coast kayak tour at a heavy discount. We talked for a while then he offered to take me out for like 80% off. But it was still too expensive for me (which tells you more about how expensive things are in Hawaii than how much money I have). We made plans to meet up in Colorado one day though.

4. On the Big Island, someone once followed me in their car to McDonald’s. She came inside and gave me $20 because I “looked tired.” Then she left.

5. The Mariott hotel had a free movie-on-the-lawn last night so I saw an awesome fire knife dance there and chilled out with the guests.

6. I meet so many crazy people when I hitchhike. It’s more of an adventure than anything else I do. My absolute favorite ride (maybe even my favorite thing in Hawaii) is when someone let’s me ride in the bed of their pickup truck. It’s legal in Hawaii regardless of the speed. It’s amazing to see 13,000 foot mountains fly by with the wind in whipping through your hair out on the open road.

7. On the Big Island, I met a couple and their toddler who had just run out of money so they were sleeping on the beach. They had muffins that were about to go bad so they gave them to me. I gave them an extra headlamp someone had given me. Darkness is scary when you don’t have a place to see so I hope the gift of light serves them well. The muffins were delicious by the way.

8. In Volcanoes National Park, I met two fellow backpacker/hitchhikers from Canada. They were 18-years-old and freshly out of high school. We stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking and even went on an awesome night hike to see the glowing caldera.

9. I knew Hawaii was going to be awesome when my flight arrived on the island in the middle of the night. It was pitch black and I was walking with my heavy backpack. Someone driving past stopped their car, walked over to me across the road, and introduced himself before offering me a ride into town. Mind you, getting a ride after sunset is near-impossible.

10. At Kolekole Beach on the Big Island, these three retired folks with so much energy come every day. The set up a little 13” TV in the pavilion and watch movies all day. When I got there, they offered me plate after plate of food and I sat around and watched Ultraviolet and The Fifth Element with them. And played with their little dog that was less than a month old. Cutest thing in the world.

Mom, I hope you believe that I still like people now. I’m not going to become a monkey and live in the wilderness anytime in the near future. I’ll start taking pictures of them now so you believe me.

October 6, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | 6 Comments

The Five Gardens of Eden

Shahmeer Targaryen

Lest you think that I sit around and edit photos all day, the picture above was just a lucky accident by my $150 Sony point-and-shoot camera. Bonus points and a clue to what I’m reading these days to whoever understands the caption! My humble apologies to y faithful readers (AKA my parents) for the week without an update. Internet access was sketchy at best. The good news is I did so much stuff while I was away! I don’t even know where to start because it’s been so long.

Akaka Falls

So I finished up on the Big Island a few days ago. I had some fantastic luck with hitchhiking (or not hitchhiking?) because a guy in a Jeep pulled up and offered me an unsolicited ride while I was walking down the road. He was a 26-year-old pilot from Maui headed to Wamanu Valley, the place I had given up on going to because it was too far out of the way! So we went there together and tackled the TWENTY FIVE PERCENT GRADE ROAD. I didn’t even know roads could be graded that high. In Yellowstone, I once road my bike up a 7% grade for 7 miles and I was damn proud of myself. Thinking of riding on a 10% grade in Colorado is just ludicrous. But a 25% grade is beyond anything I’ve ever seen. Any vehicle attempting the road was required to have AWD. We went down together and it was beautiful. Mangoes, avocados, and guava growing in all of the trees. A beautiful river cutting straight through the valley. And a 1500-foot waterfall in the background. And this isn’t even one of the Gardens of Eden I’m talking about.

The Kalalau “Trail”

So after that I chilled in Kona for 2 days, awaiting my flight to Kauai. Kauai is the oldest and westernmost inhabited Hawaiian island. It’s nicknamed “The Garden Isle” because it’s the most fantastically beautiful place I’ve ever been to in my short life. Seriously, this place blows my mind. Also, librarians are really rude here.

The main reason I came to Kauai: the Na Pali Coast. I don’t even know how to explain it. Check out the pictures. If you’ve seen the intro to Jurassic Park 3 with the parasailing, this is where that was filmed. And the only way to see the Na Pali Coast is the Kalalau Trail. 

Backpacker Magazine ranks the Kalalau Trail as one of the most dangerous hikes in America. And for good reason too. It was by far the most treacherous hike I’ve ever done. Most of it was just traversing along the edge of ocean cliffs. And I literally mean inching along sideways, accidentally kicking rocks down the 800-foot drop into the ocean below. All with a pack on. But God was it beautiful. The trail crosses five valleys on the 11-mile trek to Kalalau Beach. Each valley was filled with the most succulent guavas so plump and ripe that the branches were bowing with the weight of them. I probably had 17 guavas on the way in and out. The water from the rivers was crystal clear (though I still purified it before I drank it). And everything was just so lush and green. The five Gardens of Eden.

I spent two days on Kalalua Beach at the end of the trail. There is this weird society of people who illegally live there. They’re a bunch of hippies and Vietnam War veterans and the like. Really friendly though. The trail was also made so much more intense because there’s a hefty $200 fine and mandatory court appearance for going on it without a $100 permit. Which everybody does, including myself. So it was basically a game of avoid the rangers while walking on cliffs. Lots of fun and totally worth it.

The five valleys from the beach

I’m back in Lihue now finishing up some stuff I have to do. I’m going to Waimea Canyon, “The Grand Canyon of the Pacific,” after this and then I’m all done in Hawaii. I’m ready to get back on my bike.

October 5, 2012 | Categories: Uncategorized | 8 Comments