28 Days & 1500 Miles Later
Yesterday, I had breakfast in Wyoming, lunch in Idaho, and dinner in Utah. Little things like that make me happy.
6 miles before this, my hand was in the water
I biked so much in the past two days. 180 miles, including at least 5000 feet of climbing to 4 mountain passes. The ride up to the pass above Bear Lake was beyond ridiculous. 2000 feet of elevation gain in 6 miles. 2000 feet!! It was an 8% grade which essentially means, “Finish or submit to death.” Of all the climbs I’m aware of, this was the steepest. I do 6% grades out the wazoo, and 7% is almost as common. But I’ve never done an 8 before. I once went down a 9 in Idaho and once saw a 10 in Colorado. But standing atop the pass was one of the proudest moments of my life. It was honestly really difficult and I’m happy to be able to say that I completed it.
Utah’s already won me over. I knew southern Utah would be grand, but northern Utah is fantastic as well. Logan Canyon had some awesome drops and rock faces. I have a few pictures here and there, but the Internet at the Salt Lake City Library is really slow. I’ll upload them later. Speaking of the library, this building is a direct architectural ripoff of the library in Vancouver. An “inspiration” as they call it in the architecture world. It’s seriously the same glass Colosseum design down to the nubbins.
Can you spot the bolts and anchors??
I went to see Temple Square, the Mormon church headquarters. Once, years ago, I had a dream that Mormons took my sister hostage in Temple Square and she couldn’t escape. The church was no less menacing in person and I’m glad I’m not there anymore.
Time for a few days off. Check back in a little bit to see what I’m up to 🙂
***EDIT***: If you like to calculate things like I do, here’s a fun fact: I’m currently 6.69% finished with a purely southward trek to Ushuaia, Argentina. Seattle, the start, was at latitude 47.6097* N. I’m currently in SLC at latitude 40.7500* N. Ushuaia is at 54.8000* S. So I’ve traversed 6.85* of latitude out of a total 102.40*. I’m going to bed now that I have proved I have no life.
I am not a grasshopper bus
Some random musings from the road:
Grasshoppers love to sunbathe in the shoulder. Whenever I zip past, the smart ones fly away from me. But the rest go kamikaze and dive into the spinning spokes of my bike. They’re toast, but some of them make it on to the frame and handlebars. I squeal like an infant when that happens. I spend close to 24 hours a day outside, but I hate bugs. I’ve definitely almost ridden into a roadside gulch while trying to poke and prod a grasshopper off of my handlebars. I’m not proud of this.
I could fool you into thinking it’s a trick of shadow, but I have a noticeable tan line on the bridge of my nose. Pretend my nose is Idaho (because Idaho looks like a nose). Everything south of Lewiston is gloriously sun-kissed. North of that is a pale no-man’s land. The shadow of my helmet blocking the Sun screws me over. Please don’t call me out on it if you see me sometime soon.
The following is a list of the food I’m currently carrying: 32 oz. of banana yogurt, 7 bagels, Nutella, 2 cans of Chef Boyardee Ravioli, 2 pounds of ginger granola, tortillas, Doritos, 1/2 pound of coconut flakes, and 11 Clif bars. I promise I stay under my $10 daily budget every day, but I shop irrationally sometimes when I’m hungry. And I hate Clif bars. But people won’t stop giving them to me!! A gas station owner gave me 7 this morning! I don’t have the discourtesy to refuse them or the space to carry them. Stop giving me Clif bars!!
The temperature got to the low thirties last night.
Good things about that:
1. I don’t have to worry about the yogurt going bad
Bad things:
1. The Nutella is frozen
2. My hands won’t feel anything until 2 hours into the ride
3. I’d rather pee on someone else’s kids on Christmas morning than get out of my sleeping bag
I’m currently in Wyoming 3 miles from Geneva, ID. I’ve been in spitting distance of the border for the last 2 days. I finally have to cross tomorrow so I can reach Salt Lake City very soon. There are secret surprises in store there!
Here’s a shout-out to the new coolest kid on the block: Antonio from Alpine, WY. He’s 12-years-old and starting 6th grade very soon. He and his family were so hospitable to me. They gave me delicious tamales and soda and Antonio told me all about Alpine, going to school in Etna, and tons of other stuff. He’s awesome. Thanks for all your help, Antonio! The campsite on the old lakebed was perfect.
Melt my heart to Yellowstone
First thing you should know: I showered today for the first time in 400 miles. I’ve been letting the natural Shahmeer scent waft into every corner of Montana and Wyoming. But the people could handle it no longer and I finally had access to a shower today so I cleaned up. The water running off my body was black.
Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone
Yellowstone feels unreal. Sitting here now just south of the park, I have to remind myself that the things I saw there weren’t just creations of my imagination. I’ve been there before, but for some reason, this trip was transformative. I feel new.
I think French must be the official language of northwest Wyoming. From coffee shops to canyon walls, all I head was people babbling away in Québécois or real French. My thoughts eventually transitioned into this awful French accent. Basically, you just pause after every 3 or 4 words and pretend you’re too good to learn English and say things with very pursed lips. I practiced a lot.
I also got called an asshole by a rather large woman in a purple shirt. Yellowstone’s road construction left a one way road and the crew would alternately let people go north and south. The guy manning the stop told me to lead the southbound flow of traffic and told everyone not to try to overtake me because of how narrow the road was. I thought it was a bad idea because I know how testy drivers can be. So, of course, this Barney look-a-like swerves past me and yells out her window, “asshole.” I let it go, but 5 minutes later, I come up on the parking lot for Tower Falls and who do I see, but that damn purple shirt walking to the falls. We made eye contact and she seemed to know how stupid she looked now. I had a lot of mean things I wanted to say, but I kept it classy: “See ya on the road.”
Mammoth Hot Springs. This is a real place.
I also trekked southward into Grand Teton National Park. The fact that Yellowstone, the Tetons, and the Wind River Range are all in northwest Wyoming makes me think this is God’s land more than any other place in the world. Because the Tetons have no foothills, they’re some of the most dramatic mountains in the country. The rise like spires thousands of feet from the rock below. 
Unfortunately, the hyperactive wildfire season in Montana this year cast the whole range in a blue-gray haze. Here‘s a picture of me when I came through the Tetons last year. Perfectly clear. But the haze adds it’s own element of beauty, I guess.
I just want to take this moment to stress how amazing the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone is. I might be biased because canyons are my favorite geologic formation, but views of it are worth the entire water’s weight in gold. I somehow came here last year without seeing the canyon and no one told me to see it so I’m telling you now: go see it. A trip to the park without laying your eyes on a 308 waterfall draining the entire quantity of the Yellowstone River would be insincere. And Yellowstone is really accessible! People were there from every state in the country and every country in the Americas and Europe. It’s really no surprise that it was the world’s first national park.
I’m slowly but surely making my way to Salt Lake City now. Let’s see what the great state of Utah has in store!
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- Morning camp visitor
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- Same distance from the north pole to Ecuador, where I’m headed
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- I lived on Chittenden Rd. in Columbus!
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- Slightly tilted. Too cool to fix it.
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- Mammoth Hot Springs. This is a real place.
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- Truly, truly happy
Back Home to Old Wyom’
I’m not quite there yet. But I just wanted to give you guys a small update before I enter the wi-fi void of Yellowstone. I’m in Bozeman, MT right now, on the Montana State University campus. All my love and best wishes to friends starting school this week. I miss you guys like crazy 
I managed a pretty speedy crossing of Montana with not much to report on. Butte was hell from beginning to end and I make a solemn vow never to return. Other than that, I’m excited for Wyoming. My friend Julia loves Paris. Other friends love Red Rock Canyon or Shanghai. My love affair is with Wyoming. It feels good to be returning tomorrow. I’ll take lots of pictures of me riding bison!
A Dementor in Metropolitan Form
Butte, MT makes me feel like I will never be happy again. Once the “richest hill on Earth,” Butte has been ravaged by some kind of mystical entity. It doesn’t help that I’m here on a Sunday, when the Lord commands everyone in Montana to shut themselves in their homes.
I did find a place to stay really easily though. I literally did not even have to look anywhere. I was talking to this Animal Whisperer/Communicator (that’s what her nametag said). I had asked her where the closest park was. That was a mistake. I got the unabridged version of her quest to seek out one of her former cats that “all signs pointed to was dead.” She said she was getting a vibe that the cat was still alive though. She told me to watch my back when I’m in Missoula, Butte, Kalispell, Tucson, AZ, Phoenix and Seattle. Bozemann, MT is apparently a safe place though.
Anyway, a man overheard her lunacy and he and I got to talking. Turns out he hosts Couchsurfers all the time so I’m crashing with him tonight. Thank you, animal whisperer for bringing our paths together!
Who keeps going when they run into something like this?? I do!
Drag queens as far as the eye can see
Don’t look for queens in this picture. There are none.
Whether by fate or dumb luck, I got to Moscow just in time for the most down-home, country Pride Parade ever. It’s great to see that much support in a community so isolated from the open-mindedness of big cities. Katy and I had a fantastic time watching drag queens perform and dancing ourselves to death that night. I don’t think I’ll ever forget seeing all those farm boys breaking it down. 
Luckily, yo’ boy knows how to drop it low like the best of ’em. Country kids ain’t got nothin’ on my skills. Except Katy. She’s a dancer by trade so I’m a gangely fool in comparison. Moscow, ID is truly a great place. Katy is a fantastic friend and I can only hope to roll on through her place again soon.
I managed a 3-day crossing of Idaho. Most of my way wound through route 12 which is about as backcountry as a paved road can get. There was little water (the only gas station for 88 miles told me that their water was sulfuric), no food, and too much damn sunshine. Idaho and Colorado are officially the only states I’ve ever been sunburned in. It turns out that the largest expanse of roadless land in the continental US is in Idaho. Who knew!
I followed the Clearwater and Locsah Rivers east through the state. It was great because every time it got too hot, I could go for a swim. That’s literally what my days have been lately: biking, swimming in rivers and lakes, playing with other people’s dogs, and sleeping under the stars. It’s nice, but a little lonely.
I had a few nice climbs and descents here and there. If you look a little bit to the bottom and left of center, you’ll see a gray strip of road. That’s the road I was headed to and I got an awesome 15-mile, no-pedal descent all the way down. Some of it was a 9% grade which, on a bike, means that you’re essentially just hanging on for dear life. It didn’t really help that the road was pasted on to the side of a cliff and twisted and turned like nobody’s business. It was all fun though so no complaints.
I’ll be honest with you: the only reason I came to Missoula was to buy a Kindle. I’ve been looking for one in every town east of Seattle, but I have not been successful. Missoula’s a pretty big city so I’m finally going to get one at Best Buy tomorrow. Success!
In case you didn’t know (shame on you), Missoula is also the world headquarters for the Adventure Cycling Association! It’s an awesome non-profit that produces cycling maps for routes around the US and does so much other work. I chatted with the co-founder Greg who was one of the first people in the world to complete a hemispherical bike tour from Alaska to Argentina! He loved the idea of my ride so much that he put my photo and bio in their permanent “black-and-white” guestbook. So if you ever get the inspiration to tour and roll on through Missoula, look for me in the book. We also weighed my bike and gear. I guessed it would be 75 pounds. Turns out it was 77. I’m very happy with that.
I also met a great guy at Adventure Cycling named Brent. He’s 23 and touring from Philly to Seattle. It’s seriously so nice to meet someone under 65 whose touring. We had an awesome day walking around the University of Montana campus and exchanging travel stories. I’m going to stick around here for one more day and then make my way over to Butte to hopefully climb some thing.
*******To all the people I promised to call from Missoula, I’m so sorry. Sprint is the worst service provider in the US. There is no excuse for not having service in a town of 67,000 people. Shame on you, Sprint.*********
A few places I hope to see in the coming weeks
Square Top Mountain, Wyoming
The Loop, Canyonlands NP, Utah
Cirque of the Towers, Wyoming
The Subway, Zion NP, Utah
The Wave, Arizona
Black Canyon of the Gunnison NP, Colorado
The Hoes in Idaho
The hallelujah bells are ringing throughout the state: I finally made it into Idaho! It took ten days to cross 510 miles from rainy Puget Sound to the sun-rinsed wheat fields of east Washington. And it was no easy trek. The clump of letters C-F is when my bum knee really started to bother me. It took a while for it to recover, but I finally started putting up the big numbers in the past few days:
Wenatchee to Lake Moses-75 miles
Lake Moses to Washtucna-77 miles
Washtucna to Moscow-79 miles
It feels strange to see my 300 mile detour through the most mountainous terrain of Washington reflected in terms of where I exited the state. It would have been much simpler to swing southeast from Seattle. But I met so many fantastic people up north that I don’t regret it at all. And my knee is feeling completely better so there weren’t even any permanent consequences.
Last night, I stayed in what is probably the smallest town I’ve ever been in (which is saying a lot). Washtucna, WA has an undetermined number of human residents. I only saw 2 of them. There was free camping in the city park, which was great. But it’s eerie to be near alone in such an isolated place. All of the businesses were shuttered and the town looked destitute. But 2 9-year-old kids hung out with me for a while and told me all about riding their bikes and building tree forts. God, I love kids.
Everything looked like this for 2 straight days :l
Other than that, the rides were mostly uneventful in the past few days. It was just wheat fields as far as the eye can see. They’re nice, but the sound of wheat blowing in the wind can drive you to insanity a lot faster than most things.
I’m staying with my friend Katy in Moscow, ID! We met at the airport in Anchorage, Alaska on our way to work in the salmon cannery last month. I faked needing to charge my phone to go over and talk to her and we spent the next month goofing off and dying to go home. And now she’s home and I’m in her awesome place. It’s satisfying to see insignificant actions thread people together so quickly.
I’m taking a day off tomorrow and maybe one more on Sunday. I don’t know about the second one. See yaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
It’s 10,000 degrees
Desert Rainbow
Route into Mexico.
Come meet up with me in Salt Lake City, Vegas, or Phoenix and we can be oh-so-metropolitan. Alternatively, drive out to southern Utah and we can have some fantastic climbing adventures.
The Washington Snail
Boy, do I love me some tire changin’
Point and laugh at how little progress I’ve made since my last post. I’ve been trudging along with this anchor that I call my knee for the last few days. At it’s worst, it burned to even bend my leg, which for cycling is sometimes required. I essentially took 3 days off, riding only 30 miles during that period. I slightly regret going north from Seattle. But what can you do?
I didn’t know we had to fjord the river so I brought my laptop…
I stayed with some fantastic people through my crippled phase though. Scott and Julia provided the single best Warmshowers experience I’ve ever had. We swam in the icy Twisp River through 100 degree heat, chatted through delicious breakfasts and dinners, and I even got to help a little with Scott’s awesome boat that he’s working on. I officially would like to learn how to sail.
I also got the chance to ride through a wildfire. Or hitchhike through a wildfire, I guess. The forest service wouldn’t let me ride through since the fire was literally roadside so I hitched with a great gal named Judy who extorted ice cream from me in return. Damn you, Judy!!
Last night, I couldn’t find a place to stay so I slept in the city park on the edge of Lake Chelan. I hate sleeping where I don’t have permission to because I barely ever get any actual sleep. It was nice enough, though. I woke up at 5:30 and later some city park official asked me if I had slept there. I said yes (he totally knew). He threatened to cite me for it and I told him that was fine. He did not cite me.
Haze from the wildfire 30 miles away. Healthy for breathing!
Also today, my back tire finally gave out, after 5000 miles. It crashed and burned fantastically. It would have even been kind of cool had the closest bike shop not been 40 miles away. I don’t carry spare tires with me because I need them so rarely (this is the first time I’ve needed one). So I had to hitchhike again. I think the mohawk intimidates people because it was a lot easier for me to catch rides last summer when I had the endearing hair of innocent youth. After about 30 minutes, a woman named Kerry picked me up and brought me to Wenatchee, where I currently am. It’s ten thousand degrees.
I’m meeting my most wonderful friend Katy at her place in Moscow, ID in 3 days. I’m just so glad to almost be out of Washington. I’ll probably swing through Butte, MT from there to go climbing.
A few people have asked for an address to mail me something. Send me love. Use this if you can mail the package in the next 5 days:
Shahmeer Azmat
General Delivery
701 DEWEY BLVD
BUTTE, MT 59701-9998
Catch y’all lata.
East of the North Cascades
The road demanded more from my body yesterday than any other day in memory. The climb from Newhalen to Washington Pass runs for 44 miles and rises almost 5000 feet. 44 miles of uphill. It started off leisurely enough, but then the inclines reached 6 and 7 percent grades. As cars and trucks whizzed by, I was standing and pedaling on the lowest gear of my bike. Short of stopping and walking, there was nothing more I could do. I ran through all 100 ounces of water I had before I reached Rainy Pass. The worst part is, after Rainy Pass, there’s a mile descent, and then an 800 foot climb in 4 miles to Washington Pass. By the time I summited, my riding had descended into my hurling curses at the mountain and assuring it that it would not claim me (outloud).
Shahmeer, conqueror of mountains
For those hours and hours I spent going uphill, I got a 14 mile descent during which I did not have to pedal once. It’s both fantastic and scary when you’re bike reaches 40+ mph. I rolled into a campground at the foot of the mountain and was almost rewarded with the greatest thing in the world. I met climbers who were going doing a technical ascent of East Early Winters Peak the next day! AND THE INVITED ME TO COME WITH THEM!!!! I seriously could not have hoped for anything better: 6 pitches of 5.5 climbing. But alas, I could not. I had shoes and a harness, but not belay device and they had no extra. My dreams were strangled and stomped on. The stupidest part of this whole situation is that I ordered a belay device from CampPro USA 2 weeks ago, but they took more than 11 days to ship it so I couldn’t get it in time from my parent’s house before I had to leave. I hate you, CampPro.
I also met a fellow touring cyclist who’s first words to me were, “Hey. That’s a pretty basic bike you’ve got there.” I did not know how to respond. I worked most of my freshman year of college for this bike. But I’m sure it is basic compared to the $5000 frame he was riding (he told me how much it was. I did not ask). I laughed in his face. Not rudely, but I just had this mental image of him walking into the bike aisle in WalMart and having an aneurysm. I gladly left him alone with his bike.
Also, after crossing both Rainy Pass and Washington Pass, I told someone that I was swinging south (because Aregntina is south).
He took this to mean that I was avoiding upcoming Loup Loup Pass. He told me that was good because I needed some meat on my bones to get past Loup Loup. Except Rainy and Washington are both taller than Loup Loup. I don’t know. I’m just annoyed when people write me off off the bat.
I’m taking a partial day off today and maybe another one tomorrow. My knee hurts a little bit.
North Cascades
I’m going to camp and hike around in North Cascades National Park for the next 2-3 days. I might hike up to Cascade Pass and the isolated town of Stehekin from there, but we’ll see. I still need to make it to the park first. The town of Darrington already doesn’t have cell phone service so I’m not hopeful of getting any in the park.
Mom and Dad, don’t call the police if I don’t check in. Please. See y’all in a day or two.
Ten Thousand South 